We are naturally wired to defend ourselves. That’s why we blink, that’s why we flinch, and even square up when needed. I’m really a chill person, quite relaxed if you let me tell it, oh but don’t get it twisted or come at me sideways cause I can turn up. Two words for you: CROSS ME🙅🏾 😊. Although I can, doesn’t mean I always do. I am a black girl, who was living in Orange County for 3 years. Believe me, I’ve been in plenty situations where I could’ve defended myself or clapped back at a few people. But what does that prove? Where does that get me? And why would I exert my beautiful energy on non-sense?
A couple of weeks ago, I was having dinner one night with some friends at EastBorugh, a Vietnamese Restaurant, cause I’m cultured like that, (not even..I order the same thing every time I go, 😂😂 😂 . We were having this discussion about vulnerability, and why it’s so hard for us to forgive and move on when we’ve been hurt or burned by people. Three things I gathered from our conversation.
01 // WE USE DEFENSE AS OUR OFFENSE
Simply put, it’s our defense mechanism. We feel as if we remain hard towards a situation or person, we won’t get hurt again. I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news but, you will. And it actually takes way more energy to hold onto a grudge, than to just let it go.. I promise you 9 times out of 10, the other person has moved on and let it go, so do yourself a favor and let it go, before you end up frozen.
02 // WE LACK A TRUE UNDERSTANDING OF GRACE
Truth is, EVERYDAY we offend somebody, somewhere, because that’s what humans do. But our biggest offense isn't horizontal, it’s vertical. Yep, bigger than offending your family, friends, or foes, we’ve all offended God in some way, shape, or form. But God never defends himself against us, nor does he turn His back on us. Instead He loves us relentlessly, and graceFULLy.
03 // WE THINK WE FIGHT BETTER THAN GOD
This one doesn't need much explaining, but He’s NEVER lost a battle and I’ll leave it at that 👊 🏾.
They call me CHILL BILL (well I call myself that) because, I have decided that there’s way too much going on in life, to be holding onto small stuff. Here’s the thing, when you hold onto small things, that’s all you’ll ever have. Get a 2nd job, cause you got way too much time on your hands.
Am I ok with being burned? Noooppeee, but when it happens I address it and move on. That’s life, that’s grace, and that’s how you Clap Back ( enter slow clap).
Romans 12:17-19 (MSG)
Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”